The day that turned our family of 2 into a family of 3!

The conclusion to my story but not the end to our journey!

Part 4

So here we are, one year ago today...the day we picked Tess up from the foster family. We are still uncertain at this point if the birth mother would be there. Brent's sister, her little girl & Brent's mother made the trip with us. I am so glad they were there to share this with us and for some reason it made me a little less nervous to have them by our side & my sister in law took pictures for me! (We found out when we arrived that the birth mother has chosen not to come)

Because Parts 1-3 have been so long and you have been so patient, I'm concluded my story and leaving you with just a few words describing pictures of that day. We had a lot of paper work to sign and go over before we even met Tess! I was so ready to get through all the legal things and just hold my little girl!

The picture below is when I first laid eyes on Tess...she is not in the picture b/c the foster mom is still holding her. All I could do was cry when I saw her, Brent is talking to the foster dad.

FINALLY!!!!

The adoption agency has a little ceremony and they asked Brent to say a few words.

Giving thanks for our new little girl
Brent's mom, sister & sweet little niece!

Maci Clare and Boddotti meeting TessBuckled up & ready for the ride home
We had to stop on the way home and Tess was not very happy...
notice however dad is smiling from ear to ear!
(she still makes him smile like that)

Finally at home and happy!
Sweet peaceful rest!

March 29, 2008A year later!!
March 2009
THANKS FOR SHARING IN MY JOURNEY.
I hope in some way you have been encouraged & God's name has been honored!

The night before...
The many thoughts of woman about to become a mother.

" He settles the barren woman in her home as a happy mother of children.
Praise the Lord."
Psalm 113:9

Part 3

**For those of you just joining my story...this is me "looking back" at my life this time last year and our journey up to the day we welcomed our little girl into her forever family!**

As Christians I think it is important for us to look back and remember the goodness of God at particular stages in our life. It is good for us and good for others to hear and "remember the wonders He has done..." 1 Chronicles 16:12a

This is just a glimpse into the heart and mind of a woman who is about the become a mother after 13 years of barrenness, maybe in some way it will be encouraging to you or will help you minister to someone you know who has walked the same path.

My thoughts the night before we were to go pick up our little girl ~

• My God is so good...he has heard my cry and given me the desire of my heart

• I am so anxious...what if the birth mother is there? How do you thank a woman for giving me a child?

• I am so excited...I really can't believe we are going to parents

• I am overwhelmed with the huge responsibility of it all...I really can't believe we are going to be parents!

Many will not understand this next thought...maybe some will, I just want to be honest.

• I am a little sad...it's been just Brent & I for 13 years and as much as I longed for a child I knew that our relationship was about to change. This is a little difficult to explain but something inside of me thought I was going to miss the "just us" ~ Oh how wrong I was!

• I am sorry dear Father for ever doubting your timing...You orchestrated this whole event by your sovereign hand...your ways are perfect!
  

• Will I ever be able to go to sleep tonight? (Little did I know I'd be asking that question for a few weeks!)
  

• What if I don't know what to do when I get her? I have cared for babies a lot, but this one is mine!

• Brent is going to be such a good dad.
  

• MY GOD IS SO FAITHFUL!

So we laid our heads down in peace that night...knowing that around 1 pm the next day we were about to embark on the most challenging yet most rewarding journey of our lives. After waiting for so long we were about to become parents!

"And so after waiting patiently, Abraham received what was promised."
Hebrews 6:15

The days after THE CALL
The church in action!! What the body of Christ should look like!
Part 2

When I last left you, I had received the call telling us there was an infant little girl waiting for us to bring her home!! I arrived at my mom's Wednesday late afternoon, stayed one day and turned around and drove the 7 hours back home on Friday. My one day with my mom was filled with constant phone calls...lawyer, Brent, friends ~lawyer, Brent, family!!

One of the things the agency had told me on the phone was that this was classified as a "legal risk" adoption. Without having to go into great detail, it simply meant that the birth father had not been around to sign any relinquishment papers and therefore considered a "risk". Because of the state we lived in, the adoption laws stated that once the birth mother/father signs those papers there is no waiting period, it is done! In our case, the mother signed at the hospital, the father however, was said to be out of the picture and after some legal procedures (typically that consisted of a notification and a time period for him to relinquish) his rights would be terminated. Because of this risk we had to talk to our attorney before we picked up little one~we had to get all this together before Sat.! (We had not even met our attorney yet!) Yep, not even a week to get things ready, 3 DAYS!!! And remember I'm still in another state!

I subtitled this post, the church in action, what the body of should look like, for a reason! One of the first few calls I made were to some very dear friends about our local fellowship. My friends wept with me, gave thanks with me and then said to me..."don't worry about anything, we will take care of the things you need!" To this day it makes my heart fill with emotion and my eyes fill with tears ~ I could never, never, imagine the outpouring of gifts & support. These dear sweet ladies rallied together and when I walked in my front door Friday afternoon I was blown away. ( This pic is just things that were on my dinning room table...I had things everywhere!)
A Car seat, clothes, bath things, blankets, wipes, diapers, formula, more diapers!!! Anything I could think of (did I mention diapers & formula!!) was at my house and if it wasn't there on Friday it poured in all week long!!! This is just an example of how generous the people of God were to us during that time....I DIDN'T BUY DIAPERS FOR ALMOST A YEAR!!!! Yep, you read right. I had a whole closet full of diapers!! Formula was right behind that. I think Brent & I in the end bought maybe 5 cans of formula. God's people, His church in action!!!

What really touched my heart was a simple act which I've not shared with these people so I hope they are reading. Meals were brought to our house the week we brought Tess home. Why you say would that make such an impact on you? Well, you know the routine, when someone you know gives birth to a baby they are obviously in pain for a couple of days, they are not only adjusting to having an infant in their home but they are physically adjusting to what just happened to their body~so what do we "church women" do...we bring meals!

I did not give birth...I didn't experience labor, physically I was fine! However these precious women treated me and my husband no differently than if I had gone through hours of intense pain! To a woman who cannot experience carrying and birthing life into this world that was HUGE!! In their eyes I was a REAL mom...labor or not! It didn't matter, I was a new mom just by different means! To those dear friends (who know who you are) thank you, thank you, thank you!! You will never know how such a simple act, made such an impact on my thinking about motherhood!

So we're set...we've gotten all our info from our lawyer, we are preparing for the possibility of meeting the birth mother, and we have most of what we need for our new little one...whew, what a whirlwind of activity & emotion!

So here we are, the night before Brent & I go pick up this little one that we already love so much even before meeting. What goes through a couples minds~ what went through my mind that evening?....

to be continued later this evening!

HOW ONE CALL CHANGED MY LIFE
A story that began one year ago today!

Part 1

I remember it like it was yesterday... Wednesday, March 26, 2008. I was driving to visit my mom who had just had knee replacement surgery. The trip was about 7 hrs. and I had already driven about 5 when my cell phone rang.

Me: "hello?'
caller: "Hi, is this Marian?"
Me: "Yep!"
caller: "Hey Marian this is J* from Bethany." (our adoption agency)

At this point I didn't think anything of the call, our social worker would call and check on us and give us little updates every so often... I didn't think anything until she said ~

J*: ..."well.."

I KNEW... I felt it with every heartbeat, it was a "well" that was hopeful, not a "well" that brought disappointment! I just listened as she continued....

J*: "we have a baby for you!"

I was speechless, not a word for what seemed like an eternity. A baby~ a what? Was I hearing her correctly? Did she just say she had a baby for us?!

J*: "Marian are you there?"
Me: "uh-huh, umm, yes...go ahead."

After that all the information just runs together. Her race, her age, what I need to do right away, who I need to call. Oh yeah, I've got to call Brent.

I could hardly think straight...I was mumbling to myself...you've got to pull off somewhere Marian, you are not paying attention to the road. My mind was going so fast I didn't know how to process all the information. My little girl is already here, she is 12 weeks old, I don't have a single thing for her, I thought I'd have more time. Where is she going to sleep, what is she going to wear? I've got to call Brent.

I somehow managed to pull off the interstate into a Wal-mart parking lot and finish getting all the information from J*. We ended our conversation and I just sat there, hands shaking, heart racing, thoughts pouring into my head. I gathered myself and called Brent. Wouldn't you know the one time I was put on hold would be this time~When he picked up all I remember saying was..."they have a baby for us!" Our conversation after that is fuzzy...we had alot to do before we could go pick up our little girl.

Then the countless phone calls began, to family, to friends, to our lawyer, to the agency, to each other....the list goes on.

I continued on to see my mother... the rest of the trip for me was filled with so many emotions. I cried, sang, shouted thanksgiving to my good God, went through all the things that needed to be done before we went to get her & cried some more. By the time I got to my mom's I was emotionally exhausted but still on such a "high" (if that is at all possible!)

I had no idea that one call could totally turn our worlds up side down! Little did I know what the next few days would bring....

to be continued...

EXODUS 20:12

This post is my attempt to honor my mother....she is the primary reason for me wanting to grow up and become a wife and mother.

I share my mother's name...I pray that I also share her Godly qualities.

• She is selfless...she is concerned about the needs of others no matter how it may "inconvenience" her
• She is submissive to & honors my father, a quality that is so often lost in today's culture & sadly to say even among Christian women.
• She has a heart for service...my parents moved to Maine to serve & minister to those who do not have a church on every corner as do many of us.
• She loves her family...every one of her 5 children can testify to the the love she has poured out on each one of us throughout our lives.
  
• She is generous~she would give the shirt off her back, the shoes of her feet and her last $5 without a second thought
• She is a little quirky...okay this one may not be a godly quality but God created her and all her little "quirks" so it goes on the list & it's what makes her fun! For example, she likes to use "clear" shampoo, she doesn't like to sleep on dark sheets, she has a million white shirts because she loves white (she wants all her family to dress in white at her funeral, not black!!!) She doesn't like to drink out of plastic cups, she has stray packets of sugar, splenda & other condiments in the bottom of her purse & she only chews a half of piece of Wrigley's gum (where does the other half go...you guessed it, in the bottom of her purse!)
• She shares the Good News with everyone all the time !
  
• She seeks to please her Heavenly Father every day!

I could go on with my list... but basically ~
She is a
God Fearing
Husband Loving
Good News Sharing
Mission Minded
Woman of God !

I'm so glad God gave me this woman to model
my life as a wife & mother after!

I LOVE YOU MOM and had a good time with you this last week!

(yes, that's the reason for no posts since last Friday!)

Hmmm...let me see what I can get into today!

My sweet little peanut is very curious...I guess all 1 yr. olds are. However, she had a very active day yesterday putting that curiosity into action!

What she must have been thinking....

"Mom leaves my blanket in my crib but if I just put my foot here, and hmm, pull up here, maybe, just maybe I can snag that blankie!" (Mom's observation: she wears that stethoscope around a lot during the day...she likes our cat to be her test patient~that's always interesting)
"Then with a little effort I found I can get up on the coffee table"... (Mom's observation: I should tell her no immediately but I have to get a picture!)

"hmmm...this just doesn't seem right...somehow I know I'm not supposed to be up here!" (Mom's observation: Now I can say no..."oohh Ms. Tess you're not supposed be on the table!" I think she was imitating my mouth!)

Then of course my favorite..."who knew there were so many in this container?!"
(Mom's observation: I wonder if she is going to try and eat one?)

"And what's the fun of taking these things out if I can't taste it!"
(Mom's observation: I was right!)

And just a little note...my sister-in-law & the one responsible for getting me hooked on blogging~ Tami at Muddlin Thru Motherhood is doing a giveaway!!! (The 1st of 2) She has made some cute little hair bows...I have some already and they are very well made and so precious! She is so crafty! So head on over there and tell her I sent you! Have fun!

Wordless Wednesday

I'm borrowing this idea from several other blogs I've visited in the past week..I thought it was a good idea.
This is my 1st "wordless Wednesday" minus of course this long intro... :)

Things that make you go...AHHH!

I was just thinking today...no matter how disorganized, dirty or disheveled I feel, there are a few certain things that can immediately make me go..."ahhh ~ I feel so much better now!!!"

Here's the ones that do it for me:

• No dirty dishes on your counter or in your sink~I was going to put a clean kitchen but many times I'd settle for just a clean sink :)
  
• Brushing your teeth~come on you know there have been days when you haven't had a shower (you can get away with the dirty hair by throwing on a hat-people just think you're a cool sportsy mom!) and just by brushing your teeth you feel refreshed! (Dr. Dan, my brother the Dentist, is saying..."that's right little sis!!!"
  
• Making your bed~never mind the few stray clothes laying on the chair in your room or the messy dresser top, a made bed just makes the whole room seem straight even if you do make it 20 min. before you crawl in.
  
• Washing your feet before you go to bed~ok I must admit this may not make everyones list but it's something my mother does all the time and I do in the summertime when I break out the flip flops...it's nice to go to bed with nice clean tootsies!

For my OCD friends I'm sure there are a lot more things on their "Ahh list" but for me these are the ones that, even when there are clothes piled up in the laundry room, or I haven't dusted in days or my fridge has waaaay to many leftover containers, if I take a moment and do at least something on this list my world seem right again! At least for the next hour!

How 'bout you? What would make your "Ahhh list"?

Do I even need to write anything?!?

OH GLORIOUS DAY!!!!

A visit with Tess' Great Aunt & Uncle

We had such a fun day Sat. Our church sponsors an Oyster Roast every year to benefit someone in the community. They have been doing this for 25 years and this year all the proceeds went to a little boy who has cancer.
My Aunt Tee & Uncle Ron came up to enjoy some oysters...roasted, fried & steamed! I believe they are an acquired taste and I've not yet to acquire it! Tess & I had a hot dog! The event is huge...people were waiting in line for over an hour just to get in to eat! Brent was working the event so needless to say we didn't have to wait in that line...(you gotta get some perks for being the pastors wife!)

I'm slowly getting the hang of it!!

For those of you that remember my January post about Tess' hair you will recall that I was clueless about what kind of product to use of this sweet little head. Since then I have tried several different recommended things and have gotten a lot of advice! I think I'm getting the hang of it. I normally wash her hair every 3rd or 4th day and then apply some leave in conditioner. Her hair is getting longer but she has alot of little curls so you really don't know how long it is until you start to put little pigtails in it! She is learning to sit still while mommy works with those itsy bitsy hair accessories...I usually have to turn on Sesame Street ~ I'm a little slow but I'm quickly learning that with a one yr. old you have to speed up the hair process! Thank goodness she loves those little muppets!! Anyway, here are a few pics of my recent attempts to try something other than 2 clips.


And just a little treat for my mom...another video. (she just wanted to "see" her) Tess loves to take the thing that holds my plastic bags of the door and hug it, she thinks it is great! She does this throughout the day~such a funny little thing. Sorry that it's a little shaky...

A Confession

"My soul thirsts for God, for the living God..." Ps. 42:2a

As I was cleaning up the kitchen the other night I passed by this stack of "stuff" that made its way to the counter. I glanced at it and then just sighed as I noticed the book at the bottom of the stack. How many days does that picture play out in real life?! Phone calls, bills, a little ones runny nose, even a good Christian read (you fill in the blank) all valuable things to a degree, but how often do we let them crowd out the life giving Word of God!

It is God breathed...how could I, or why would I let all my daily activities trump God's means of showing himself to me?! I shutter at the thought of how I neglect His sweet words at times. As my husband has said over and over again, I will only know God as well as I know His word!

Father forgive me for placing so many other things ahead of knowing your word...may you create such a thirst in my soul for YOU that I come running, mouth open wide, to the water that will always satisfy.

May I shout with the Psalmist:
"How sweet are your words to my taste, sweeter than honey to my mouth!"
Ps. 119:103

WIRED DIFFERENTLY

My husband said something in his sermon last Sunday that made me laugh...he said, and I'm paraphrasing, that God created men and women are of equal value but with distinctively different roles to fulfill... he simply stated that "we are wired differently!" I don't think I have to explain that to anyone, if we have had any contact with men, we know what that means!

Then to prove his point - without him even knowing it- I came across this in my linen closet.
I just had to laugh. My sweet husband is so good about housework! He can do it all-cook, clean, do laundry, you name it, he's done it! However, there are a few things that matter to me that are not as important to him. The way I fold towels is one of those things! I don't think I even have to point out which stack is mine and which one was his! I just spoke those words to myself..."wired differently" and left the towels the way they were. Hey, they are clean, put in the right place, and there were two less towels I had to wash and fold...who cares how they look!!

I'm am so thankful God did wire us different...what a dull and unfulfilled marriage we would have if we were created just like one another. The joy and ever growing attempt to know the man God gave me over 14 years ago keeps me dependent on the One who created him. For when I recognize that God crafted this fellow and that he has a specific role to fill, it is then will I love, honor, respect, submit & treasure him above all other men! Oh to value and recognize that on a daily basis...how often I fail!

He is wired differently but we are also wired together & I would have my towel closet no other way!

A visit with the cousins

These are the pictures I was trying to download (read my last post to see how that turned out!) Anyway, I finally got them where I wanted them...and here they are! This is from my visit with my sister-in-law Cara and her two little boys, Luke & Owen. Tess kept up pretty well with the brothers but she is still learning the whole sharing thing so it got interesting at times! We had a good time just hanging out...it's nice to be around someone like Cara who you feel like you can just "be" with. We just sat around talking and laughing...it was a good little trip for Tess & I.